


the first strange thing

by cosmogyral



Category: A Shrine to Saint Ann - J. August, Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-26 14:39:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/967131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmogyral/pseuds/cosmogyral
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She has only a little warning before the goddess settles into her body like a comfortable armchair. (Fusion with A Shrine to Saint Ann.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	the first strange thing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gogollescent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gogollescent/gifts).



Flickers of sensation run up her feet, first warm and then painful. It is her only warning before the goddess settles into her body like a comfortable armchair, stretching out her fingers, flexing one bicep, pulling her mouth into a smile.  _Hello,_  says the goddess.  _I thought I’d warm you up first, since you haven’t gotten out much lately. Humans are meant to see the sunlight at least twice a week to maintain optimal health conditions. It says here you haven’t seen the sun in three hundred and ten days. That’s probably why you’re looking so bloated. That or the bacterial decay._

The goddess withdraws, leaving a little vitality in her bones. She bends down to touch her toes. She’s more limber today. Her knees move easily.  _Oh. I’m sorry. I’m looking through your memories, and it’s clear that you’ve always looked like that. Here,_  says the goddess. A memory slides into place from nowhere: a seal, rolling through the halls in the orange garb of one of the goddess’ priests. Chell doesn’t ask the goddess how she’s supposed to have seen herself from the outside. She leaps off her plinth and lands hard.

 _Congratulations. You’ve passed the jump test,_  the goddess says.  _You have an advantage of three point five feet at the all-corpse long jump._  There’s a tug at her mind, and she’s turned to the right, out to the little door which the goddess doesn’t like to touch personally. _You’re actually the only entry. We asked the other corpses, and they said they didn’t want to participate. With you._

Chell opens the door. Death yaws at her from the other side.

 _I’m going through your memories again. I’ve found the one where I cut your throat,_  the goddess says.  _I’m so sorry about that. It’s just that after the first time we worked together, you killed me. No hard feelings? Tell you what, if you’ve got any feelings, any feelings at all, go ahead and share._

The revenant who lives in the corner levels its bow. “Hello,” it says, in its tinny mockery of the goddess’ voice. “I can see you.”

 _Oh, dear,_  the goddess says.  _I guess I left him armed. You’d better get a move on._

It’s just for fun. When she steps through the door, it’s because the goddess is pushing at her heels, even trying to make her trip and catch herself on the other side. There’s nothing to feel in the goddess’ temple, but even that vanishes, as always, when she’s on the other side of the door, and her connection to the goddess is severed. Here she’s only held up by the remnant of her own death.

"All right. Now today, we’re going to try a distance of twenty feet from the door," says the goddess, through her archer. "The last subject made it fifty before desiccating. I’m excited to see how far you’ll go."

Chell kneels down to the dust of the road. Having spared the energy from standing, she’s got the strength to fumble in her pocket until her fingers close on the little ball hidden there, and set it gently in front of the door.

"What are you doing?" The goddess has to kneel the archer down to peer at it, matching, its arrow dipping to point at the ball. "Do I have to remind you? If you stay in death, you will be dead. Get back here. What  _is_  that? Where did you get it?”

Chell reaches her hand forward, through the doorway, and the goddess jerks back, instinctively, but not quicker than light, which runs along her leash from the goddess until it fills the goddess’ lamp, one of her many lamps, with a piece of the goddess’ power.

The goddess lunges for her hand, and Chell yanks it back.

"What did you do?" the lamp says. It rocks, as the fire in it splits and tries to beat against the glass. "What are you doing? Why am I here? Seriously,  _what_  do you think this is going to accomplish? You know what? You’re trying to scare me. Well, you can’t. I’m the goddess of discovery, and I can’t be scared even by someone as frankly terrifying as you. But that’s OK. We all make mistakes. There’s no point in dwelling on it. If you just pick me up, and put me back down with the rest of me on the other side of the door, I won’t bring it up again. Good,” says Glados, encouragingly, as Chell scoops her up and stands. She feels much better now. She tucks Glados into her shirt pocket again, and begins heading into death. “No! No. No. Oh. I see my mistake now. I assumed you’d know which way was out. That was stupid. It’s that way.” The lamp lurches against her chest. “The way towards the door. A door is an opening in a wall to allow idiots to carry their superiors back to freedom.”

She’s not sure which way the Last God is. Her soul didn’t get very far the first time before Glados caught it and dragged it back. But she can’t go wrong, she thinks, with ‘away’.

"Ok. When I said I couldn’t be scared before, I meant that I couldn’t be scared by anyone except a professional," Glados says. "And you! You are definitely a professional psychopath. Congratulations. You’ve scared me. Aaaaahhh. See? I’m terrified. Now you can take me back. Oh, I’m so ashamed. It’ll be so embarrassing for me to have to go back and face everyone when you’ve scared me like that. I’m going to hate it."

Chell tries on a smile. She can’t feel the muscles in her face obey it, but there’s no one around to see it anyway.

She doesn’t see what Glados is complaining about. This is an unparalleled opportunity for scientific discovery.


End file.
